March 22, 2018.
Chasing the old me…
The super passionate version of me who saw victory as a formality. The one who sacrificed for this dream without a second thought of everything this time or money could be used for instead. The one who closed everything out and just learned everything about the music business he could from books, articles, interviews and piecing real events together. The one who wanted to learn to make beats because of the prospect of buying several beats for albums was unrealistic. The one who only wanted music equipment so he could record himself because he clearly wasn’t ready for a studio and again – couldn’t afford multiple sessions back then. The guy who made beats that nobody liked (not even me) but knew he had to keep going through to figure this out. Falling asleep in the chair at 2 AM, trying to figure if these high and low pass filters can help this recording sound better (they didn’t).
- The one who reached out to Ben about how to start making music at home and following his lead. Those sessions out in Buckingham Palace were everything for me back then.
- Recheal used to ride with me an hour to Eclectic to record. We didn’t know what we were doing back then! LOL. She was my first artist on Mid-Flight and remains special to me to this day. The first lady of MFMG does what she wants.
- The one who recorded with Deartis and R4LOM for the first time and was trash!!! It was over that “Forever” beat that Drake, Wayne, Eminem and Kanye did. He didn’t even talk music with me again for months until he heard my first song. LOL.
- Carmen (Thank you) bought me my first session for Christmas at Mixology. I did three tracks but people have only heard one. I haven’t been back to Bao’s studio to record since…that was like Christmas 2009? I didn’t wanna go back until I got my shit together. I still have the CD and no one can hear it.
- That song was “The Watcher 2 Freestyle” aka “Only One I”. I wrote that song in 4 bar increments on a group chat on Yahoo Messenger. When my mom and brother heard it, they asked if it was me because my voice sounded so different. When Deartis heard it, he went crazy and wanted to rock with me again! HA! Deartis, of course, is Ice Holloway. I named him that, with ICE meaning I Crush Everything because he…crushed every beat. It’s not rocket science, folks.
- My brother didn’t like my first mixtape Stallion at first because of all of the skits and some of the songs. He loves the mixtape now and wouldn’t take a skit away. He rapped on my projects afterwards and even has his own mixtape that I recorded called Flighter. Nowadays, we argue about music because our tastes are different but always end up at the same place eventually. Shit’s stupid. He bought me my first mic, and the only one I used, so he’s good forever.
Anyways…back to that guy…
There’s so much to say, so much that’s went on. So much of him has changed over these years and it’s getting harder to see him when I look in the mirror. It feels different when you trust this thing with other people and they don’t take it serious. It feels different when you learn how much business has to be mixed in with your art. Hell, it feels different when what you make isn’t what you actually like! That was a tough lesson…
It feels different when the failure falls on you.
The problem with him was his heart. His heart took us far and got us to where we are now. All those late nights learning and moments figuring things out and the milestones achieved – all him.
The two trips to A3C. Buying the camera and shooting videos in house and learning to edit them. The websites. The covers. MAKING THE COMPANY. Paying extra rent for a studio room in addition to a bedroom. Supporting friends who wanted to be apart of Mid-Flight. Said friends no longer around. The growth. The excitement. The anger. The heartbreak. The lonely feelings in the room. The major times on stage – ALL HIM.
But…
I got it from here. We survived the drought. We’ll act like we’ve been here before, so it’s business as usual.
“They Wanna Humble Me” – TBA/Impromptu
“Summer Baby” – June 22, 2018
A3C – October 2018
“Stallion III” – October, November & December 2018
Music videos will be coming for I Am Who I Say I Am – better late than never. I hate depending on people and they bullshit me. Got a plan though.
SXSW 2019 and XXL ’19 is the plan.